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Flirting comes in many forms: a casual gaze that lingers a half second longer than necessary, a light touch, an amorous expression, an overenthusiastic laugh during conversation, or even some playful or overtly sexual banter.
But participants accurately perceived that flirting only 28% of the time, with males more accurate at detecting female flirting (36%) than females were at detecting male flirting (18%).When the risk of being rejected is high, men with high self-esteem use more direct techniques than those with low self-esteem, perhaps because they’re less concerned with how being shot down may affect them.However, men with low self-esteem are bolder and use more obvious approaches than men with high self-esteem when the target is clearly interested and rejection risk is low.A person may flirt simply to pass the time, to feel close, to see if they’ve still got it or because it’s fun. Big surprise: men’s flirting is more motivated by sex, while women’s flirting is more motivated by having fun or becoming closer to another person.
When done well, flirting is not overt or obvious and always leaves open the possibility that flirting wasn’t occurring at all.
This may be because encountering a sure thing is one of the only contexts in which a guy with low self-esteem feels safe making advances, so he has to make it count.